College football rivalries are fuelled not just by game-day heroics but by an endless parade of one-liners, jabs, and good-natured insults. Nowhere is that more evident than in the Seminole–Gator feud, where Florida State University aficionados (and their adversaries) have been sharpening their wit for decades.
In this post, we’ve organized classic FSU jokes into handy categories—from stadium digs to light-bulb gags—so you can find the perfect zinger whether you’re tailgating in Tallahassee or trash-talking across the Swamp.
Rivalry Jokes
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What did the FSU grad say to the UF grad? — Want fries with that?
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How do you make a Nole sit during a football game? — Tell them that they’re playing Florida.
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What do UF students and FSU students have in common? — They were both accepted to FSU.
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A Seminole, a Hurricane, and a Bulldog graduate are all in one car. Who is driving? — The police.
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Did you hear Bobby Bowden was in the hospital? — Yeah, his blood pressure was 52-20.
- What does a groundhog get when he sees a ’Nole? — Six weeks of bad football.
- After Bobby Bowden dies and enters the Pearly Gates, God shows him a small FSU-bannered house and then a huge Gator mansion, saying “That’s not Spurrier’s house—that’s mine.”
Education & Intelligence Jokes
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What do you get when you fill out the full activities sheet at Denny’s? — An FSU diploma.
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Did you hear about the FSU graduate running a Fortune 500 company? — Me neither.
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What do average FSU players get on their SAT? — Drool.
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How do you get an FSU graduate off your porch? — Pay for the pizza.
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Why did the Seminole graduate put his diploma in the dashboard of his car? — So he could park in the handicap space.
“How Many” & Light-Bulb Jokes
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How many ’Noles does it take to fix a flat tire? — One if it’s a slow leak; 52 if it’s a blow-out.
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How many Seminoles does it take to screw in a lightbulb? — One, but he gets four credits for doing it.
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How many FSU graduates does it take to screw in a light bulb? — None. They haven’t reached that level of education yet.
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How many ’Noles does it take to roof a house? — Three, if you slice them real thin.
Stadium & Location Jokes
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What do you call a trailer park surrounded by a brick wall? — Doak Campbell Stadium.
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Why’d they take out the turf in Doak Campbell? — The ’Noles always play better on grass.
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Why did FSU replace the grass with cardboard at Doak Campbell? — They always look better on paper.
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How do you get from Tallahassee to Gainesville? — North until you smell it, West until you step in it.
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What’s the best thing to come out of Tallahassee? — I-10.
Wordplay & Pun Jokes
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Why do Native Americans protest the Sugar Bowl being in the Superdome? — It’s a sacred Seminole burial ground.
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What does FSU and marijuana have in common? — They both get smoked in a bowl.
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What do you get when you drag a $1,000 bill in the housing projects? — An FSU recruiting trip.
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What do you call a drug ring in Tallahassee? — The huddle.
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How do you make Seminole cookies? — Put them in a bowl and beat them for 2½–3 hours.
Crude Jokes
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How do you get an FSU cheerleader into your room? — Apply a lot of grease and push.
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Why can’t they have a Nativity scene in Tallahassee? — They can’t find three wise men and a virgin.
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What’s the difference between an FSU cheerleader and a Corvette? — Not everyone’s been in a Corvette.
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What’s the difference between an elephant and an FSU cheerleader? — A couple hundred pounds. How do you make up the difference? — Force-feed the elephant.
Violence & Physical-Harm Jokes
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What’s the best way to break a Nole’s finger? — Punch him in the nose.
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How do you save a Seminole from drowning? — Lift your foot off his head.
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How many ’Noles does it take to roof a house? — Three, if you slice them real thin.
Legal & Crime Jokes
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Who is the Seminoles’ new defensive coordinator? — Johnny Cochran.
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What do you do when an FSU alum throws a grenade at you? — Pull the pin and throw it back.
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What do you call a Seminole wearing a suit? — The defendant.
- The FSU team was placed in a remedial English class… when asked “What comes after a sentence?” they shouted, “The appeal!”
Whether you bleed garnet and gold or prefer a little orange and blue, there’s something universally satisfying about a well-placed punchline. Feel free to bookmark this collection for your next tailgate or share it with friends to keep the rivalry alive. After all, nothing says “I love college football” like a laugh that echoes across two campuses and keeps both sides on their toes—just be ready for the return volley!