Whether you bleed purple and gold or shout Hotty Toddy till you’re hoarse, this is SEC smack-talk season. The LSU–Ole Miss feud is one of the South’s finest pastimes—equal parts football, folklore, and friendly trash talk. Keep it light, keep it loud, and remember: the only thing sharper than the wit is the game-day barbecue. Now warm up those groans and eye-rolls… it’s zinger time.
Rivalry fast facts (LSU vs. Ole Miss)
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The matchup is nicknamed the Magnolia Bowl, a nod to the magnolia—state flower of both Louisiana and Mississippi—and the rivalry trophy that’s been awarded since 2008.
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The series dates back to the 1890s and is played annually, alternating between Baton Rouge and Oxford.
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One of college football’s iconic plays happened here: on Halloween night, 1959, LSU’s Billy Cannon broke an 89-yard punt return to beat Ole Miss 7–3 in Tiger Stadium.
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Ole Miss got quick revenge in the 1960 Sugar Bowl, blanking LSU 21–0—proof that this rivalry swings hard in both directions.
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Modern chapters have been just as spicy: top-10 upsets, last-minute finishes, and scoreboard-tilting shootouts keep this grudge fresh every fall.
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Big picture: LSU holds the overall edge, but both sides have had multi-year streaks—so nobody gets to talk forever.
Ole Miss Rebels Rivalry Jokes
Quick Q&A Zingers
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Q: Why should Ole Miss change its name to the “Opossums”?
A: Because they play dead at home and get killed on the road. -
Q: What’s the difference between Ole Miss and Cheerios?
A: Cheerios belong in a bowl. -
Q: Did you hear about the power outage at the Ole Miss library?
A: Forty students were stuck on the escalator for three hours. -
Q: Where was O.J. hiding right before the famous white Bronco chase?
A: On the Ole Miss campus. That’s the last place you’d find a football player. -
Q: Why don’t Ole Miss fans let their kids play in sandboxes?
A: Because cats keep covering them up. -
Q: What does the average Ole Miss student get on the SAT?
A: Drool. -
Q: What do you get when you cross a groundhog and a Rebel?
A: Six more weeks of bad football. -
Q: How do you make Ole Miss cookies?
A: Put them in a big bowl and beat for three hours. -
Q: How many Ole Miss freshmen does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None—it’s a sophomore course. -
Q: How do you get an Ole Miss grad off your porch?
A: Pay for the pizza.
One-Liners
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They’re considering changing the surface at Vaught–Hemingway from grass to turf—they’re having a terrible time keeping the Ole Miss cheerleaders from grazing during halftime.
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The only sign of intelligent life in Oxford?
Starkville — 115 Miles. -
What do you call pretty women at Ole Miss? Visitors!
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How can you tell if an Ole Miss football player has a girlfriend?
There’s tobacco spit on both sides of the pickup truck. -
How many Ole Miss cheerleaders does it take to make chocolate chip cookies?
Three—one to bake the cookies and two to peel the M&M’s.
Story Jokes
The Forfeit
One day, LSU and Ole Miss were playing a football game. In the third quarter, the Tigers got mad over a bad call and walked off the field. Three plays later, the Rebels scored.
Outstanding in His Field
I went to see an Ole Miss grad at his house, and when I arrived he was standing in the middle of a cow pasture, looking around. I asked his dad what he was doing.
“He’s trying to win the Nobel Prize.”
“How?”
“All you have to do is be outstanding in your field.”
The Genie Wish
An Ole Miss fan is walking along the Mississippi River and finds a magic lamp. He rubs it and a genie pops out.
“I can give you one wish,” the genie says, “but make it easy—I’m rusty.”
The Rebel thinks and says, “Okay, I want peace in the Middle East.”
The genie winces. “Yikes. Got anything easier?”
“Fine. I want Ole Miss to beat LSU in football this year.”
The genie sighs. “Where did I put that map of the Middle East…”
LSU Tigers Jokes
Quick Q&A Zingers
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Q: Did you hear about the LSU grad who got fired from the M&M factory?
A: He kept throwing out all the W’s. -
Q: Why was the LSU football team late for last year’s game?
A: Because every time they passed a sign for “Clean Restrooms,” they did. -
Q: What do LSU grads call Bama grads?
A: Boss. -
Q: What did the Ole Miss graduate say to the LSU graduate?
A: “Welcome to McDonald’s. May I take your order, please?” -
Q: What do you call a good-looking girl on the LSU campus?
A: A visitor. -
Q: If you have a car with an LSU WR, an LSU LB, and an LSU DB inside, who’s driving?
A: The cop. -
Q: What’s the difference between an LSU fan and a carp?
A: One’s a bottom-feeding scum sucker, and the other is a fish. -
Q: What do you get when you cross an LSU fan and a pig?
A: Nothing—there are some things even a pig won’t do.
One-Liners
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I heard the LSU coach was only dressing twenty-two players against Ole Miss.
He said the rest could dress themselves! -
Did you hear about the fire in LSU’s football dorm that destroyed 20 books?
The real tragedy was that 15 hadn’t been colored yet. -
The LSU football team was placed in a remedial English class. The professor asked, “Does anyone know what comes after the sentence?”
All the players raised their hands: “The appeal!” -
Remember: you can’t spell “You’re a loser” without L, S, and U.
- Did you hear about the LSU fan who was so upset that the Rebels beat the Tigers that he tried to commit suicide by jumping out of his basement window?
Story Jokes
Mountaintop Loyalty Test
A Florida fan, an Ole Miss fan, and an LSU fan are climbing a mountain, arguing about who loves their team most. The Florida fan yells, “This is for Florida!” and jumps. Not to be outdone, the LSU fan shouts, “This is for the Tigers!”—and pushes the Ole Miss fan.
Little Jimmy in Mississippi
In a Mississippi elementary school, the teacher asks if the Rebels are everyone’s favorite team. The whole class says yes—except Little Jimmy.
“Who’s your favorite team, Jimmy?”
“The LSU Tigers.”
“Why?”
“Well, my dad’s a Tigers fan, my mom’s a Tigers fan—so I’m a Tigers fan.”
Annoyed, the teacher says, “If your dad were a moron and your mom an idiot, what would that make you?”
Jimmy: “An Ole Miss fan.”
Game-Day Dog
An LSU fan walks into a bar with a dachshund in an LSU jersey and helmet. The bartender protests—no pets—until the fan pleads to watch the game. LSU receives the kickoff, gets stopped at the 30, and kicks a field goal. The dog hops on the bar and gives everyone high-fives.
Bartender: “That’s amazing! What does he do if LSU scores a touchdown?”
Owner: “No idea. I’ve only had him three years.”